Mainlining Marshmallows

Posted on Aug 17, 2005. 0 comments

I am stressed. So stressed that I get irrationally angry with people who are carefree and happy. For example, Christy posted the following picture.
My immediate response was, why in the Eff is he so happy? I'd want to throw myself OFF the bus if I had that much acrylic!
To soothe my savage inner sea harpy, I am eating everything in sight. Earlier in the week it was Potato Chips, tonight it's Marshmallows. Meanwhile I inexplicably tweaked my knee so I can't jog off the Public-Service-Bitch-Easement calories.
When I'm permanently confined to my couch, but before they have to break down a wall to get me out,
I will be surrounded by my lovely yarn.
UFO Solution
I've devised a way around actually finishing my unfinished knit items. I will start an anonymous Knitting Chain Mail Letter. Those unfortunate souls whose addresses I possess can expect an anonymous package containing an unfinished sweater with a threatening suggestive letter about finishing the sweater and anonymously sending out 10 unfinished items of their own. Those who don't immediately send out 10 packages to 10 other friends will be subject to the Terriers of Hell barking at their Soulcases and various other deeply profound Welsh curses
I think it could work.
And the Austermann Peru? Don't spend a single penny on it. It is the best worst deal I have ever clicked on. It feels like heaven total crap. Do yourself a favor and let me complete my dastardly plans to buy every last remaining ball forget this yarn.

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