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Conservation of Yarn Momentum

Posted on Aug 23, 2005. 0 comments

In the interest of creating less entropy in the Universe (those that know me may commence laughing now) I've drafted a new theory*
You may want to steady yourself before you read my controversial new
Grand Unified Knitted Theory.
I'm either Casting on for new projects
or
Buying yarn.
You may wonder where I'm at now, well, I'm buying yarn. And I've limited myself to one project at a time and must finish everything that is not finished in order. It's going to be a long time before I can cast on again. Can you see where this is going? I am (Unless you are my Husband, I am lying for effect, or hyperbole) buying mass quantities of yarn. I have even decreed that I will take in my lunch** (potential energy) every day this week to build up for more yarn buying (kinetic energy).
I hope my new theory helps shed some new light on the 3 Newtonian Laws of Knitting.
1. A body remains at rest, or if in knitting motion it remains knitting uniform motion with constant speed in a straight line, unless it is acted on by an unbalanced external force like Husbands who angrily wave around newly balanced checkbooks.
2. The acceleration produced by an unbalanced force (Angry Husbands) acting on a body is proportional to the magnitude of the net force (How much money spent), in the same direction as the force, and inversely proportional to the mass of the body plus the mass of the knit object.
3. Whenever one body exerts casts on a force upon a second body new object, the second body no new yarn exerts a force upon the first body (casting on); these forces casting on or buying new yarn are equal in magnitude and oppositely directed.
You may also substitute the words sewing, quilting, crocheting, crafting for all above commentary. All rights reserved.
Q.E.D.
*Hey Roberta, mc^2 - mc^2 = 0!
**Except for today, but it's a going away lunch. I can hardly carry in a peanut butter and jelly on pita sammich to a Restaurant can I?

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