No Longer Fit for Public Consumption

Posted on Apr 20, 2006. 0 comments

Even married pregnant broads have scarlet letters. Maybe the letters are out of sight on their new bigger bra for the one bigger boob, but believe me Pregnant Women (ok maybe only me) are no longer prepared for being in Public.
My Thermostat is Broken
I am hot. Real hot. Too hot to knit. Ok maybe not too hot to knit but certainly too hot to put knitwear on my body. And so although I've finished the Geranium socks and the Corset Pullover there will be no modeling photos. Because my body has re-regulated its internal temperature to the approximate temperature of the SUN. I'm fairly sure the 48 Contiguous States could be powered solely on my body heat. Also there will be no audio clip of the Husband doing the voice. Because his teeth would be chattering due to the artic temperature in the house. And also because I hate the voice.
I'm Afraid to Brush My Teeth
See [Morning Sickness] and [Gag Reflex]
I Can't Shave My Legs
Shower water is intolerable. Even when cold. And baths are not an option.
No Laundry
The washing and drying mechanisms may raise the temperature of the house above 66 degrees, AKA the nausea temperature. We do not want to let the nausea temperature happen.
Grocery Store Jog of Shame
I say jog instead of walk because of my severe food aversions (causing me to ask people to get out of my way). And the shame part comes from having 3 different kinds of crackers, 3 different kinds of cookies, and 2 different kinds of chips in my cart. I used to buy organic produce, boneless skinless chicken breast and soy milk. I would also judge people by what I found in their carts. Now I find myself wanting to explain (teary eyed) to every passer by that I'm pregnant and only going to get 3 bites of each thing in my cart before I get nauseated and have to expel it from the house.
I'm sure the list of reasons why I'm no longer fit to show myself in public will continue to grow. But for now you'll have to excuse me, I have to go stick my head in the freezer before I pass out from heat stroke.

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