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Baby Feet, Jackhammers, and Thomas Kinkade

Posted on Oct 02, 2006. 0 comments

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Somehow my darling baby has snuck a jackhammer into my womb. She loves to use her baby jackhammer feet to catch Mommy off guard, like those few moments of blissful sleep, when concentrating on thesis related matters, or holding important conversations.
When not doubled over from being pummeled in the ribs, I play with her feet. When she's in nonjackhammer mode she'll push her little feet just as hard as she can under my ribs. When it gets to be too much I push on her little footie and she'll move it, eventually. It's the little things that keep me going at this point.
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I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. It's hard to sleep, hard to eat more than a few bites at a time, and hard to move. Also I am crushed by the appearance of angry looking red stretch marks marching like Sherman over my belly. Why don't they show those in magazines? I'd rate that right up there with peeing in my pants.
No lobster crate cradles for Maya, we're all but finished with the Nursery. What we really need is a kicky baby to accessorize what we've already got.
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Childbirth in Six Easy Pieces
The Husband accompanied me to the Hospital Maternity Tour. He was hero of the evening when he swooped in and fixed the power point display for the befuddled Presenter. The Nurse rewarded him with a book on breastfeeding. Hilarity ensued when we won the exact same book again during the door prize raffle. The Nurse's solution was to announce that the Husband won't be Breastfeeding. Thank the Gods* for that. Do not google male lactation. They're out there. Do not use the powers of google for evil and blame me later!
The Husband has an unusual propensity for winning White Elephant gifts during raffles, and predicting his victories over the other unsuspecting participants. The first example being a delightful Thomas K1nkade canvas that hung on his bachelor pad wall until I cleverly found a way to regift he gave it to a family member whose tastes jive with the K1nkade Krowd. We were rewarded by being promised the return of the painting in the future. I'd rather have two of the same breastfeeding books.
Works in Progress
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Clockwise from top left:
Ribbon-Tied Dress by Debbie Bliss. Sitting in knitting basket for approx. 3 months. Left to do: Seams. Likelihood it will be finished before Maya's High School Commencement: Low.
Pasha the Penguin. Sitting in knitting basket for approx. 1 year plus. Left to do: Seams and Stuffing. Likelihood it will be finished before Christmas: Not Bloody Likely.

Minisweater
by Glampyre Knits. Sitting in knitting basket for approx 1 week. Left to do: Sew on one measly button. It's already been blocked. Likelihood it will be finished before tomorrow: Not good.
Baby Surprise Jacket by Elizabeth Zimmermann. Work in Progress. Guilt will make me finish this one in the next month.
Baby Bolero by Leigh Radford. Sitting in knitting basket for approx 3 weeks. Left to do: Seaming and adding ribbed border. Likelihood of being finished before Maya's grand appearance: Fair to Middling.
Random Sock pattern by Me. Work in progress. Finishing time is directly proportional to thesis related stresses and insomnia.
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Thesis by Me. Work in progress. I will finish in four weeks. {Save laughter for later}
*Set your TIVOs for the return of Battlestar Galactica this Friday on Scifi. Also be sure to hold a moment of silence for the cancellation of Stargate SG-1. I'll miss you Teal'c!

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