Bring home the cookies and nobody gets hurt.

Posted on Nov 17, 2006. 0 comments

Twenty-Three Days left until my estimated due date. Honestly I'm not sure how I can be pregnant for that much longer. Last week I was diagnosed with PUPPPs which may sound like some warm, fuzzy, puppies and kittens, happy thoughts sort of condition but I can with ALL authority assure you it is not. Imagine (if you will) the soothing lotion aisle of your local drugstore. Reflect on all the lotions that exist to soothe itchy skin. Ruminate over buying every item on the shelf (including the stinking Aveno Oatmeal Bath, YES I'VE USED IT) and frantically applying it to the itchiest skin you've ever had. And the skin still itches. And itches. And turns you into a crazed psychopath who can no longer wear clothes or hold any conversation for all the itching.
Well, I'm happy to report I'm better now. I got the right treatment from my OB. I can wear clothes again. My mood is somewhat more manageable. (Don't ask the Husband about my Mood. He just wants his Wife back. He's been warned that may never happen bwah hahahahahahahaha).
But since I've decided I'm having a 40 pound baby. I have no other explanation for my egregious weight gain. Plus when baby Maya pushes out her little feet and arms my belly grows exponentially wider. This is where I'd admit to snoring like a lumberjack if my vanity would allow me to do so.
I have no pictures of all the wonderful happenings. There have been fantastic gifts, and showers. Certainly there are no current pictures of my stretch marked and PUPPPs infested belly. The camera has been packed in the hospital bag and I'm afraid it won't be removed for any use other than the birth of our daughter. Which godwilling will be very SOON before I sprout a tail and start terrorizing poor hapless Japanese towns.
And for Godsake pass me the cookies!

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