The Lambs Have Definitely Not Stopped Screaming

Posted on Jan 03, 2008. 4 comments

Physica Octava
It's difficult to establish order and discipline where it doesn't already exist. (This is where a more clever physicist would make ridiculously easy to come by joke about Entropy). I have no choice but to finish my thesis this year. My pride won't let me do otherwise although my entropy loving lazy self certainly would. If I were to make a New Years Resolution it would be to close the book on my Masters Degree, but since I resolved to stop making resolutions last year, I'll refrain. I have become determined to work on the thesis for thirty minutes a day, every day, even if it means parking Maya in front of the Wiggles. Don't ask me why I'm squandering my thirty minutes today blogging.
Because then I'd have to tell you about how a spider found its way on my person mere microseconds before it's untimely demise a few precious moments ago. And then I'd have to tell you about how my child is not eating freshly steamed organic produce, opting instead for grilled cheese sandwiches. I have a great sense of irony so I recognized immediately when she started turning her nose up at the vegetables and scarfing down the grilled cheese (with! processed! something-that-doesn't-even-resemble-cheese!) that this was another well fleshed example of karmic retribution.
Also I decided to help continue fueling the gross generalizations of Orange County brought to you by such shows as "the OC," "Laguna Bitch" and "Housewitches of Orange County" but I am not admitting to watching any of those shows. I came across my knowledge by interacting with the locals. What follows may shock and amaze you.
I carefully took this photograph on the Freeway (Husband, Speed UP, I don't want the driver to hunt me down and break my camera, and god knows the Hummer will run out of gas if we continue to drive 85mph before we reach the next gas station). The only thing perhaps more cliche in this county is a Toyato Prius Hybrid. It was in fact, difficult to take a photograph of the Hummer with all the Hybrids fouling up the shot. If you want to clear an implant filled Mommy Play Date, shout Oh-My-God Your Prius is on fire! and duck til the dust settles.
My daughter is already taking after me with all my loudly obnoxious verbose diatribes.
She was ensuring that she circled back around to close the loop on her core competencies with her cousin on Christmas. I think her high level dialogging leveraged her assets.
Which brings me to my next topic, boobs. And I don't mean me or mine (you'd think large ones would guarantee success in a male driven field like physics, but alarmingly it has the opposite effect. Ask me how I know.)
I was able to knit a boob in the eleventh hour for my Mother In Law for Christmas. I lovingly chose her favorite color, although it's no substitute for the large mass of tissue the surgeon removed. I am happy to report she is certifiably cancer free, full of radiation, and has an astonishingly small chance of a recurrence of breast cancer.
And to prove I have a heart (even if I had to knit it with my own two cold shrewish hands)
I present the Yes I have a Heart Ornament
Here are the directions for your very own.
Using leftover sock yarn of your choice on needles that give you gauge that makes you happy cast on 44 stitches.
Row 1: Knit 20 stitches, SSK, K2tog, Knit 20 stitches
Row 2: Purl across all stitches
Row 3: Knit 19 stitches, SSK, K2tog, K 19 stitches
Row 4: Knit across all stitches
Row 5: Knit 18 stitches, SSK, K2tog, K 18 stitches
Row 6: Purl across all stitches
Continue in pattern as established above until there are 2 stitches left, bind off.
Pick up 22 stitches along one corner of 44 stitch square and knit a mitred square
Row 1: Knit 9 stitches, SSK, K2tog, Knit 9 stitches
Row 2: Purl across all stitches
Row 3: Knit 8 stitches, SSK, K2tog, K 8 stitches
Row 4: Knit across all stitches
Row 5: Knit 7 stitches, SSK, K2tog, K 7 stitches
Row 6: Purl across all stitches
Continue in pattern as established above until there are 2 stitches left, bind off. Repeat procedure for second corner of 44 stitch square picking up 22 stitches and completing one side of the ornament. Make a duplicate 3 square heart, seam together, stuff with filling, and enjoy!


  • Posted by stephanie on Jan 12, 2008

    I am so pleased your MIL is doing well.

  • Posted by Jenn on Jan 03, 2008

    What an AWESOME gift for you MIL!
    I try not to make generalizations about what my future kids will and won’t do, for fear they will come back and bite me on the ass. Much like my SIL’s “No Santa”, “No Barbies”, and “NO TV” came back to bite her squarely on the backside.
    Good luck on your thesis. I think the 30 minutes a day plan is a good one. I know I struggled mightily with mine, but in the end, it’s worth it.

  • Posted by lyssa Kaehler on Jan 04, 2008

    order is overrated.
    Do you know some teenager you could hire to come entertain the baby girl for a couple of hours at at time while you work on the theeeeseeeees? Other friends of mine have done this, and find it works pretty well. They’re still around if there are emergencies, but someone else is keeping the baby swing going, passing out cheerios, etc while they get some work done.

  • Posted by Carrie K on Jan 04, 2008

    Cold shrewish hands. I love that.
    High level of dialogging? Why isn’t Maya helping you with your thesis? She went to classes with you. Time to start pulling her weight you know. And with that processed cheese……which reminds me. Grilled cheese sandwiches and split pea soup. It’s what’s for dinner.

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