Plink Plinky Plink Plink Plink Plink Plink is the sound the Christmas Book makes. Over and over and over and.... All nine keys (no sharps or flats) meshing together to create player piano honkey tonk masterpiece worthy of the Fickle Household. The piano has been generating noise non-stop since I foolishly introduced it to the household from the gift pile.
It plays such classics as "Up on the Rooftop," "Santa Claus is coming to Town," and my favorite "To Grandmothers House we go
Back to Grandmother's House the toy should have went." I imagine the just-out-of-tune melodies are perfect accompaniment to the hijinks and shenanigans of homicidal motion picture characters such as Chucky. Or maybe I'm channeling Chucky when I hear my Husband plink out The! Greatest! Hits! From! The! 80's! for the thousandth time in an hour (Truthfully it was Rush that did me in).
Something had to be done, before the hinky piano ended up with its guts spewed out unceremoniously on the playroom floor.
So I consulted my favorite Sale Oracle and off to Traget I went, over the bridge and through the woods.
I found the keyboard on my first pass through electronics, marked $139.98. I felt the price was a bit steep until I realized it was a 76 key model . Naturally I'd prefer the standard 88 key Steinway, but that's definitely not in the budget unless we
1. Win the lottery (kinda hard to do when you don't play)
2. Find a Benefactor
3. Encounter an unexpected windfall.
I decided on the spot that such scenarios weren't likely to happen today and picked up the box to place it in my cart. A brief time later I realized the box was taller than I am and quite unwieldy, particularly when one tries to place it upon a case of bottled water. Fortunately a sympathetic employee helped me heft the enormous box in the cart before I threw out my back or assialed my daughters ears with
more than the usual profanity. The cart rolled precariously on two wheels as I made my way to the check-out. Maya kept turning around in her seat further contributing to the wobble.
But we made it. And the lovely lady who checked us out was astounded when the price came up as $49.98. Ten minutes later after the Manager made her way over to approve the sale (the tag did say $139.99 after all) we were on our way. Almost.
I got to the parking lot and realized the humongous box was not going to fit into my car. I tried every way possible to cram the thing into the trunk, pausing to remove my handknit vest before I passed out from a hot flash. The guy parked next to me surely got a laugh as I heroically exerted myself to the point of exhaustion. Finally I decided the keyboard would have to come out of the box and after some more hilarity, I pried it out and crammed it into my trunk. I won't bother you with the next 20 minutes which consisted of me wrangling the empty box into the car, but suffice to say it went and we went and that's the story of how I found my Husband's Valentine's Day gift and it came with blood (I scraped my finger on the damn box), sweat (we've already addressed this, no?), and tears (from the awful caterwauling of the Christmas book, Thanks again Grandma!)
So it is with the Valentine's Day Spirit that I mention my gift to you, dear readers. It's called "Yes I have a Heart, Valentines Edition"
Simply follow the pattern, and knit with red yarn. Or black yarn, if you prefer.
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