Mother's Day 101

Posted on May 12, 2008. 7 comments

7am Wake up to Hysterical (teething? recovering from a cold? moody teenaged baby?) Crying
8am Clean up cheerio dust that has accumulated overnight. Note that cheerio dust was probably sole reason for fall of Rome, the lean in the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and the destruction of the Lighthouse of Alexandria.
9am Hide in Family Room while Daddy feeds hysterical child cruel and unusual breakfast of bananas and buttered toast
9:05am Husband sneaks out to car to retrieve gifts, hides out in guest room purportedly "wrapping gifts" in a gift bag while I try to sooth the crying child.
9:30am Open gifts,discover the totally awesome Husband bought the totally awesome Mario Kart.
10:45am Initiate first game of Mario Kart after and hour and fifteen minutes of searching for wii remotes lost in boxes during flooring replacement.
11:00 Beg Husband to do something about the Hysterical crying while frantically trying to keep mario kart on road and avoid sabotuers.
12:30pm Discover that Mario Kart Shoulder sets in early when you're in your Thirties
1:00pm Hysterical crying over the disappearance of the last pancake. Dry my eyes quickly so I can continue to play Mario Kart.
1:35pm Try to read The Melancholdy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories by Tim Burton to crying, flailing child.
1:36pm Give up and concede baby needs a nap. Hand her over to Daddy.
2:00pm Scrape off top layer of Cheerio dust that has settled since mid morning containment. Ponder it's role in the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, the Bermuda Triangle, and Global Warming. Consider deployment of dust as defense against Hummer drivers.
2:30pm-8:00pm Knit while watching favorite TV shows, give silent thanks for Mother's Day. Start counting days until next year.


  • Posted by Sara G. on May 19, 2008

    Michele that is sooo awesome! Guess what I got for mother’s day??? I too got the Mario Kart Wii!! How funny! Hope you and Maya are doing well!

  • Posted by lella on May 13, 2008

    Cheerios dust must be currently running the world into the ground, from the latest unofficial reports. No wonder Cheerios makes four ounces of oats so expensive. It’s almost atom bomb grade stuff. hmmm.. teenage babies. Yes, it must be so. You see so many of them these days. wink Hilarious post!

  • Posted by Andria on May 13, 2008

    Hmmm. I don’t have a baby and there’s Cheerio dust in my house. And MEMBRILLO!!

  • Posted by monica on May 14, 2008

    Bananas and buttered toast! So so cruel!!

  • Posted by Michelle on May 12, 2008

    I hear mac n cheese cures the gout!

  • Posted by Carrie K on May 13, 2008

    Oh those moody teenage babies.
    I’m glad you recovered quickly from The Last Pancake! Mother’s Day. Not for sissies.

  • Posted by Kimiknits on May 12, 2008

    Wow, if my boss’s door wasn’t closed I think I might have gotten in trouble for the hysterical cheerio dust-induced giggeling. Reminded me of mother’s day past, with a colic-y baby who was convinced by some evil gnome that if his mother EVER SAT DOWN FOR ONE STINKIN MINUTE the world would cease to turn on its axis and monsters from under the bed would roam the world freely.
    Here’s to cheerio dust in our hair, on our faces, and covering our sofas. I hear that cheerio dust cures wrinkles and vericose veins. Seriously.

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