Mother's Day 101
7am Wake up to Hysterical (teething? recovering from a cold? moody teenaged baby?) Crying
8am Clean up cheerio dust that has accumulated overnight. Note that cheerio dust was probably sole reason for fall of Rome, the lean in the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and the destruction of the Lighthouse of Alexandria.
9am Hide in Family Room while Daddy feeds hysterical child cruel and unusual breakfast of bananas and buttered toast
9:05am Husband sneaks out to car to retrieve gifts, hides out in guest room purportedly "wrapping gifts" in a gift bag while I try to sooth the crying child.
9:30am Open gifts,discover the totally awesome Husband bought the totally awesome Mario Kart.
10:45am Initiate first game of Mario Kart after and hour and fifteen minutes of searching for wii remotes lost in boxes during flooring replacement.
11:00 Beg Husband to do something about the Hysterical crying while frantically trying to keep mario kart on road and avoid sabotuers.
12:30pm Discover that Mario Kart Shoulder sets in early when you're in your Thirties
1:00pm Hysterical crying over the disappearance of the last pancake. Dry my eyes quickly so I can continue to play Mario Kart.
1:35pm Try to read The Melancholdy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories by Tim Burton to crying, flailing child.
1:36pm Give up and concede baby needs a nap. Hand her over to Daddy.
2:00pm Scrape off top layer of Cheerio dust that has settled since mid morning containment. Ponder it's role in the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, the Bermuda Triangle, and Global Warming. Consider deployment of dust as defense against Hummer drivers.
2:30pm-8:00pm Knit while watching favorite TV shows, give silent thanks for Mother's Day. Start counting days until next year.
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