Over-caffeinated, Underfed and Ambitious
We visited a petting zoo on Friday.
I made the terrible mistake of stopping for coffee on the way to the zoo. My child sensed there was a water fountain within walking distance of the coffee with her spidey sense. She also sensed that she was not going to submerge her person in the water and responded by turning into a 300 pound wet noodle, crying hysterically in a heap on the sidewalk. A helpful matronly sort stopped mid stride (presumably) to help by inquiring "What is WRONG with her?" The helpful spirit stood glaring and gawking while I scooped up my now flailing shrieking octopus child while I balanced a cup of coffee, a bag of coffee beans, some bribery madeline cookies (which were useless but made a terrific snack for me later), my wallet, my car keys, and my diaper bag. I finally managed a retort to her hands-on-hips-I'm-watching-you-but-not-serving-any-useful-purpose. "She's One and a half, everything is tragic."
My sister warned me of the coming recriminations, the public judging, and the gawking that accompany parenthood, but when it finally happened to me I was shocked.
Good thing she's worth the trouble.
Speaking of bribery cookies, I got the Wii Fit for my anniversary. Mainly due to some strong armed tactics from me and the lovely woman that works at our local game shop (Thank you nice lady, me love you long time). I was so excited about wii fit until it told me I was a fat ass, showed me my dismal BMI, AND THEN had the nerve to ask me if I fall down while walking.
My balance needs some work, my virtual trainer said. Perhaps next time I'll try to put the hamburger down.
And finally, because I am Thirteen I present the picture of the day.
Because we were near the house of the Lord, he sent a hummer within range of my camera lens.
Today's message is clear. Hummer drivers are sucking up all the oil which is really meant to be acrylic yarn. Ergo Hummer drivers should stop stealing acrylic that belongeth to me.
So say we all.
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