I'm up to Forty-Three pages from the original 23 I had when I picked up my thesis for the thousandth time. This morning when I checked my inbox there was an email from the head of the Physics department with an essay on how to address
deliberate procrastination Writer's Block called Write Before You're Ready: First Steps to Avoiding Writer's Block. And the essay spells out perfectly the cycle that I'm stuck in.
So you decide to go back to do some more reading, more research, take some more notes, and check out a few more sources. Eventually, though, you find yourself back at the keyboard. Somehow you can't find a way to express those thoughts that were so clear when you were reading and researching. Every sentence that you write sounds banal, weak, obvious or boring. "I'm not in a creative state of mind," you think. "I'd better wait until I have a bigger block of time" or "I'd better wait until I'm in the mood."
Three guesses on my first action after reading the story of my life, not counting rereading the list I made yesterday on what to do with myself. (Binge stress eating was not on that list, and neither was buying fiber compulsively from etsy or new spinning wheel acquisition).
I promptly printed out ANOTHER article and read it. I feel like the protagonist in a Sartre tome. This version bearing a lens-touching instrument of torture of my creation.
At least there are butterflies here. And soon, soon there will be a gently used and well loved Schacht DT Matchless spinning wheel. I better hurry up and finish my thesis so I can use my newest toy.
In the meanwhile somebody please send Chocolate. Or Fiber. Or a sledgehammer. And maybe Scotch.
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